Let's Hear It For the Boys!

Okay, I'm a fan. I mean, they're like really, really, really great. 

I may have let out a huge sigh of relief that first time I heard my doctor say "It's a boy!" 

And while I prayed, hoped, and believed fervently I would have a little princess the second time around, I can't describe the excitement I felt when I heard "It's a boy!"...again.

We have the same nose, right? I mean #twinning!

Let's be real honest here, I wasn't exactly trained for this (I was raised in a mostly girl home and my poor dad was way outnumbered), but I kind of feel like I was wired for it.  

And if you go back and find evidence of me trying to put a ponytail in my niece's hair, you will see what I mean (thank goodness there is none in existence...I think). 

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly a tomboy. I was sweet and feminine, but not exactly super girly either. My room was never flooded with pink, to this day I absolutely cannot stand a feather boa and you can forget about anything with glitter. 

Like ever. 

So all this to say, while I never hoped or prayed to be the only queen in a house full of kings, it happened that way and I'm super happy about it. 

So, here's where I'm going to get really real with you and tell you what I've learned from being the only double x chromosome around these parts:

1. First and foremost, I was MADE for this. 

Yes, I was a little caught off guard the first time I changed a diaper and pee landed in my right ear. Okay, I was REALLY caught off guard. 

Who knew that was possible? 

But there was a learning curve and I picked up on all the tricks real quick.

It didn't take long for me to have an endless supply of Hot Wheels and Cheerios in all of my purses and thoroughly enjoy screaming at the top of my lungs at all of the football games and eventually make our annual trips to catch all of the Marvel, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings movies. 

I can tune out random belches like a pro as though they were supposed to be part of the conversation, totally not notice when someone is scratching or adjusting themselves, and most of the inappropriate banter doesn't even phase me anymore. 

Most.

2. It is totally possible to raise young men who understand what REAL equality is. 

My boys are being raised by me (this is not just J's influence) to be confident and comfortable in their own masculinity as reflections of the nature of the Almighty God who created them. 

And just as we emphasize that who they are created to be in the image of God is exactly who they need to be, they understand that I, as a woman, am also made in the image of God; that both women and men are on an equal playing field, and that both genders bring gifts and abilities to the table the other does not possess. 

One of the best gifts my husband has given me in this home is the role of a true partner. I say this is a gift because I am acutely aware that there are many relationships that do not function in this light. And as such, we have spent almost twenty years modeling to our sons what it looks like when both sexes are able to acknowledge where the strengths of one compensate for the weaknesses of the other and vice versa. 

I am not put out one bit by the fact that J is physically stronger than me and he has no problem deferring to my natural intuition when it comes to decision making or handling certain situations. 

3) The final and most important lesson I have learned is what a momma bear I can be when it comes to my sons. 

In this current social climate, we are increasingly watching masculinity become more and more vilified. Young men are constantly corrected and told they are sexist for opening doors for women, shouted down for "mansplaining" and insulted for having an inherently masculine worldview.

But what if I told you my oldest opens doors for everyone? (Not just you sweetheart.) Or how about the fact that when you interrupt and talk over your girlfriends that is the female version of mansplaining? Or how about the fact that, of course, they have an inherently masculine worldview...they are male. You have an inherently female worldview...you are female. 

And please do not get me started by the constant "men are all a bunch of bumbling buffoons" messages the media throws at us on a regular basis. 

Regardless of what popular society wants to tell my boys about who they are, I am here to make sure they know the truth. I am not here to fix them or train them to fit a mold the world thinks they should fit. My job is to point them to Jesus and let him do the rest. 

You see, J and I firmly believe we are planted by God into the families we are exactly supposed to be in. God has given us the opportunity to build a marriage that models real partnership and we are running with it. J is not here to rescue me and I wasn't placed here to cook all of the meals and clean the house. Quite honestly, I do all of the cooking because I am better at it and he does all of the laundry because he's a bit OCD. And instead of assigning tasks and roles in our home based on our genders, we chose them based on our gifts and talents...and if we are really honest, some of our gifts and talents are actually inherent to that x or y chromosome (it's biology, not bigotry). 

After about 20 years of living this way, I've come to really appreciate the amazing gifts my men bring to this world. The experience of being the only girl in my home has given me the opportunity to study the hows and whys of my boys and while there are some things I may never understand, I am in awe of everything that makes them, well them. 

And the beautiful thing about it is that the more I have shown respect for them in their masculinity, the more they have learned to respect me in my femininity. 

But mostly, I'm grateful for a husband who has helped create an environment that honors me as a woman so that I can raise young men who know how to earn the right to be respected and honored as men. 

A Word to the Wives

“A woman's words are as strong as a man's fists. You can speak and build him up or you can speak and break him in half.” -John Gray

In about 2 months, we celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary. Amazing, right? If you know our story at all then you know there was a bit of a gap that occurred right around year three and we never made it to year four due to divorce. Instead, we started all over again the next year and now celebrate two anniversaries each year; wedding day ONE AND wedding day TWO. And while I would NEVER change one bit of our story because what we have gotten out of this process is so much greater than the pain we both endured, I will gladly say that there are some things I wish I could have said to that seventeen-year-old girl in the picture.

Today’s post will not tell you the full story, but what it will do is tell a little bit about my side and the role I played in the destruction of my own marriage.

Nope, I refuse to be a victim here.

There was a moment just before the day we split that I had to come face to face with the ugly truth of my part in the dissolution of our marriage. Desperately feeling the pain of a failing marriage, I walked the aisle at church one Sunday night and stood before a gentle and wise man who agreed to pray with me.

After a few moments of sharing all the ways I had been wronged and relaying to him how horribly I had been treated, he laid one kind hand on my shoulder and gave me the most bittersweet truth to chew on:

“Kara, God is the sun and Jason is the earth and you keep trying to move in between the two of them. You are so busy trying to be God to him that he can no longer hear you or God. Relationships are a two-way street.  Oftentimes we see that in situations like this there is a part both people have played in the destruction of the relationship. What has been your role?”

Honestly, I cannot remember much past that moment. I’m sure he prayed for me and I am positive there were more words exchanged, but that moment in time has stayed with me for the past 18 years.  

Unfortunately, we were too far gone and I was too wrapped up in pain to understand the scope of what he had said in time to do anything about it. Within the month we were separated and within the next, we were well on the way to divorce.  

As the process began and we started to do life separately, God carried me through all of the stages of grief. Throughout that time, He kept taking me back to that night and the words of that minister. Although a bit slow and tedious, the unpacking of what they meant and the hard truth of what role I played in driving my husband away took place. Young, struggling financially, parenting a toddler, and scared of what life had in store, I had turned to the only stability I knew, my religion.  At that point in my life, that is what in fact it was for me, just a bunch of rules that I was sure would bring peace and happiness if I followed them. There was no full understanding of what real faith was but I was relentlessly putting all of the rules to work thinking life, and my husband would be better if we just obeyed them all.

What I got in return was a broken marriage.  

As I was grieving the loss of our relationship, God began to do some incredible work in my heart. He often brought the words of Dr. Hayford back to mind and would then bring to memory some argument that Jason and I had. The revelation that I spent the better part of our short marriage, trying desperately to change him and make him into something and somebody else dawned on me.

Between all of the efforts at changing him and the gift of verbosity I displayed when things got ugly, I learned to fight very unfairly and slowly began to tear my husband apart conversation by conversation. To my surprise, I did the exact opposite of what I had intended to do. Instead of driving him closer to God, I pushed him further away from both of us. Over the next year, the Holy Spirit took me on a journey of discovering and accepting my part in our struggle. He revealed to me that my words had done more damage than I realized, but he also showed me what I could and should have done differently. And eventually, in his goodness and timing, we were given the miracle of a second chance at marriage and I was given the opportunity to speak life into my husband.  

This change didn’t happen overnight. Of course, we had a wonderful honeymoon period when we were first remarried, but old habits are hard to break and real healing takes time. It took about five more years for me to really get the importance of watching the way I spoke to him, and another 5 for me to decide to stop verbally berating him altogether. Once I started paying attention, I could see when this happy-go-lucky, strong, fearless man would go stone silent at the careless and hurtful words I used to make my point. Even worse, I felt the wedge it drove between us each and every time.

Thankfully, the faithful whispers of the Holy Spirit helped me understand that verbally spearing someone in the midst of an argument is just not love, and begged the question why on earth would I want to do that to the person I adored the most?

Today, I can confidently say that we are far past those days. By His grace, we now have the tools and resources to have real discussions without going for the jugular to prove a point. Better yet, I get to say that I have a better husband than I could have ever hoped or prayed for.

So, here we are, almost 20 years later, hard lessons learned, with lots of love to give and a desire to share our story to bring hope to those who need it most. If you find yourself in the place I was so many years ago, please stop and ask, “What are the effects my words are having on the man I love? Are they giving life or bringing death?”

"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." Proverbs 18:21 NLT

My hope for you is that you choose to speak life.

Real Talk and Reflection

We are legitimately the happiest people I know.

Until we aren't. 

A couple of weeks ago we shared why we are Married Twice and Living Life, but beyond helping and hoping to inspire others, we have learned the importance of being intentional about our marriage. 

For us, intentionality includes putting dates on our calendar (sometimes months in advance) and exploring new places. Yes, we get the benefit of what looks like a carefree, adventurous and fun-filled marriage, but there is actually deeper work that is happening with each hike we take and each date we go on.

Through these efforts, we are actually making and carrying out a meaningful plan that allows us time alone together to gain shared experiences and to invest in growing and strengthening our relationship. Our hikes, especially, allow us the time alone to laugh, explore and just talk. Sometimes we have lighthearted, fun conversations and sometimes we tackle much harder subjects, but we always come away knowing each other a little more and shoring up our marriage just a bit tighter. 

This week's "work" took place on a new trail for us. 

Our visit to Cedar Ridge Preserve was one of the most soul quenching, heart-filling hikes we have been on yet. The wild beauty, amazing people, and challenging trails we encountered met almost all of the "perfect outing" requirements J and I have.

Everything from the butterfly garden filled with beautiful flowers at the entrance...

to the overwhelming smell of honeysuckle that enveloped us throughout the entire hike...

to the funny lady who showed us where to find the best views (and was lying to her friend who has never hiked about how many miles they were going to put in that day)...

There was not a moment when we did not enjoy ourselves...even when navigating the toughest grades of the trails. 

And this outing did exactly what we intended for it to do: bound us a little tighter together....which is exactly what we were going to need for yesterday. 

For real.

So...sometimes our marriage looks like this:

It sure was nice to have these parts of the trail reinforced to make the long and winding decline easier to navigate (They were kind of killer to ascend, though). 

Yes, there are times that things are a challenge, but the path ahead is visible and we know how to work together as a team to navigate them. 

And then we have days where marriage looks a bit more like this: 

Dark, messy, and a lot of little things that seem to get in the way that trip us up. 

That was our day yesterday: kind of dark and a bit messy. 

My good husband has recently found himself in a situation where his work schedule has changed almost daily. This has begun to pose quite the problem as it seriously infringes upon the daily functioning of our home. 

Truth be told I handle it well some days and others..well...

Yesterday, quite frankly, I didn't handle it at all.

Of course, that's unless you call screaming and storming around the house handling it. 

It was pretty bad.

And really what I was reacting to wasn't just the umpteenth schedule change this month alone, but the way J approached me about it. 

My guy doesn't like to disappoint me, so sometimes he maybe just, ummm, tells me how it's going to be instead of taking a bit of a softer approach in hopes that we can just avoid all of the "feelings" involved. You know, the whole just rip the band-aid right off approach.  

And ummm, maybe yesterday I decided I was going to express ALL of the feelings I had about it anyway.

It wasn't pretty...like at all. 

But we hiked together Saturday, right? 

So what does that have to do with anything?

You see, we have spent the last several years changing our approach to marriage to be more proactive and intentional. Remember how I mentioned that our hikes together help "shore up" our marriage?

That bonding time actually better prepares us and makes it worth our while to try to recover well from days like yesterday. 

Fortunately, we have also spent the last couple of years on a journey for real freedom that has taught us how to reflect and dig deep to discover why we do the things we do and react the way we react.

Once I finally calmed down yesterday, I stepped away and just asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to me why I respond that way to Jason when I "feel like" he is trying to control my responses. 

(And, I say that loosely because I am well aware my feelings aren't always accurate reflections of the truth but sometimes assumptions based on how I perceive a situation...That's deep, I know.)

As soon as I whispered that prayer, a memory came to mind of a time when someone tried to control my emotional response to a situation and I was completely powerless to do anything about it. Fear put me at their behest and I was forced to obey. 

So as a 40-year-old woman, that experience has turned into a belief that I can explode if I want to and he can't do anything about it (or actually I feel "safe" enough to do it because I know he won't physically hurt me). 

For his side of the story, J spent time reflecting on why he tries to "manage" my responses and confided it is because he's afraid I will respond the way I did. 

Bingo.

Oh my goodness...we've established a pattern and we can do something about it. 

Now that we both know and understand why we do what we do, we can better prepare for and approach the next set of circumstances that set us up for this kind of confrontation and hopefully end up with a completely different outcome. 

The time and effort we have put into building our marriage through our dates and adventures fill our tanks and give us what we need so when we hit days like yesterday, they don't completely destroy us and they don't take days and days to recover from. 

Instead, we find ourselves desperately desiring to find a place where we can come together again and make the efforts at self-reflection, resolution, and reconciliation completely worth it. 

"Dates got you to a place where you wanted to marry each other. If you want to stay married, then keep dating your spouse."

~ Andy Traub

Share with us, what is something you do to strengthen your marriage? 

French Music, Rainy Days, and a Goose.

 

Such a great pic right? 

I wish I had taken it. 

I had actually taken four different pictures of one pretty cranky goose that day.

A couple of days after our visit to the marina, my nifty Google photos app alerted me to some new activity. Apparently, that kind of creepy digital "assistant" of mine turned my four pics into this really cool panoramic image and left me wishing this was really what I had captured that day. 

Sad to say, this actually happens to me quite a bit: not the digital assistant pics, but the deflated expectations. Boo. 

To say I have a vivid imagination would be a massive understatement. 

When I concoct a plan, I can see, hear, and smell EVERYTHING about the experience I hope to have before we ever arrive. The problem with this is that I get uber excited in the wait and if reality does not match what my imagination has conjured I end up rather disappointed. 

And that's kind of the direction our dates went for this month. 

April was my month for date planning. Our "cheap" date was going to be a jaunt around an incredible farmer's/craft market and our "big" date was to be golf with a phenomenal dinner afterward...and Jason was going to super impressed and in awe of my all of my amazing plans. 

It kind of happened that way and it kind of didn't. 

Don't get me wrong. Both dates turned out to be all around "good days", but the cheap one did not happen due to schedule conflicts and instead became a coffee date and the golf date, well...

Let's just say that although the weather was great and the course was beautiful, maybe the hubs did not have his best golf game and was feeling a little frustrated.

Maybe. 

We're lucky that ball didn't roll right off of that retaining wall and take him with it...

And maybe the marina we went to was absolutely gorgeous and maybe we will try another restaurant next time. 

By the end of the date, I was feeling pretty deflated and declaring that I will no longer be planning our dates and that he will take charge EVERY month. 

And in his amazing wisdom, he reminded me that being open to adventure sometimes means making room for disappointment and being okay with things not always turning out the way we hoped. 

We have just started this life of intentional adventure. 

We are in the midst of planning our very first real vacation together right now and have a massive list of places we want to go and things we want to see beyond this first trip. 

And if we go into this life without the flexibility to allow for things to not always look the way we imagine, we may not enjoy this very much. 

But, if we remember the goal is to experience new things together, enjoy each other's company and take the right attitude with us we will always have a great time.

Yes, we can have some semblance of what we would like to see and do, but we can't allow our expectations to hold us prisoner and thereby rob us of the experience if things do not always go as planned. 

Honestly, I had a tough time even knowing where to start with this blog this week. But, upon reflecting on J's great advice, I decided to reframe my approach. So, I sat down, stared out at the rain for a bit, turned on some great French music and decided to lay down my expectations of what I thought it should be in lieu of just sharing my own experience with you and I'm kind of happy about it.

"Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes for you."

~Anthony Robbins

What's the Purpose?

That is a good looking group right there....a good looking group with a ton of purpose.

Friday night, we were invited to attend a fundraiser for a pair of ministries that were introduced to us roughly a year ago. What you see here is a group of individuals who are involved in one or both of those ministries on some level. 

Our relationship with The Significant Marriage began when the Chapmans (second from the right) gifted us with an opportunity to attend a weekend workshop that changed the way we approach our marriage. 

For the first time in our 20 years of marriage, we walked away from a marriage seminar that not only provided good teaching but also gave us a toolkit of resources that we have been able to revisit over and over again.

It is because of that seminar that you are reading this blog today.

Dave and Mary Gothi's (the man with the awesome red shoes on the left and the blonde with the braid on the right) vision for this seminar is to provide couples with the resources they need to align themselves together and discover their God-given purpose as a couple and thereby strengthen their marriages and families. 

This "keep your eye on the prize" approach takes couples from being reactive in their lives and marriages to being proactive.

In that one short weekend together, J and I had conversations that we have not had in our 20 plus years as a couple. We learned to ask questions we have never asked and put words to our hopes and dreams in a way that we have not done before. As the weekend concluded, we were given the opportunity to take all of those conversations and answers and formulate them into a workable plan with goals and action steps.

This plan and approach have completely redefined the way we interact and tackle challenges in our marriage. 

And...it has given birth to some pretty amazing changes in our lives.

Married Twice and Living Life was not on our radar at all a year ago, but a dream to travel was. 

Having a blog, Instagram account, and Facebook page for this thing we are doing was not something we ever dreamed about, but boosting my writing skills was. 

Sharing our story in such a public manner was not something we really ever considered, but helping others avoid divorce and find hope after devastation has been near to our hearts for years.

Through identifying our dreams and attaching them to goals, we have seen the evolution of an idea that has helped us identify our purpose as a couple:

To show that there is hope for broken marriages and that no matter what your past is or where you are in life, you can still dream and live a life full of joy and purpose. 

Our heart is to use our story to put the goodness and faithfulness of God on display, to show that forgiveness and healing are possible, and to show that it is never too late to start really living life. 

And...we might not know any of this had it not been for what The Significant Marriage offered.

So, almost a year later, we spent a couple hours in a coffee shop on Saturday and took the first steps in booking and planning our very first real vacation together in almost 21 years of marriage. 

TSM taught us how to put feet to our dreams and we will celebrate our anniversary together this year kayaking, canoeing, or whitewater rafting in Colorado (we're still debating, I mean discussing those options).  

But even better than the trip, we learned how to identify our purpose as a couple.

We now know that we have so much more to do in life than work, pay the bills, raise our kids and grow old. We have a responsibility to use our story and our dreams to bring hope to those who wonder if it is even possible and living out this purpose has brought more joy and direction and unity into our lives than we have had in years. 

The best advice we can give to you is to find your purpose as a couple no matter what stage of life you are in. Doing so unites you in a way that is unmatched and changes the way you approach every other facet of marriage.

To learn more about the Gothi's and The Significant Marriage visit http://www.thesignificantmarriage.com/.

And....

To learn more about Sunshine Kids International visit http://www.sunshinekidsintl.com/. 

(And...SKI is why India has been added to our travel plan for the future). 

Who You Spend Time With Matters

I had no idea these beauties existed somewhere on this earth...like none. They look like something from a sci-fi movie and up close and in person, they are truly exquisite. This is pure color, no filters, and I am just astounded by them. 

And...I knew their name for like a millisecond because of my sweet friend who so graciously responded when I asked her for the millionth time, "Ooooooohhhh, what's this?"

In fact, that was our exchange the majority of the time we were in the wholesaler's market. Everywhere I turned I saw colors and textures I did not know existed in the world of flowers and felt like I did as a kid the very first time I went to Sea World.

We all have our things okay?

Everything about my outing with her that day was an adventure...including navigating the warehouse district in downtown Dallas while completely lost. All while our husbands spent time together taking on the world with their laser focused, single-minded, let's forge ahead brains. 

Every time we leave their presence we take some kind of new knowledge with us. They are always teaching without even realizing it. 

And at the end of the day, Jason and I drove home with full hearts knowing we are better people because of them.

And then there was Saturday night when we sat through an amazing class taught by our even more amazing friend on one of our favorite subjects: using our strengths in marriage. 

The class was insightful and full of activities that challenged us to identify and acknowledge what the other does well and be vulnerable with each other about our needs. 

Finishing off the evening with dinner with her and her husband was a huge added bonus. We couldn't have asked for better conversation that challenged us and spurred us on to do more and be more. The way they view people and relationships is inspiring and sets a model that we want to emulate in our own lives.

When we finally settled in that night,  J and I decided we are incredibly blessed by the people we get to do life with and knew without a shadow of a doubt they make us better people.

 

And then the other night I was a good hour into my evening hike when I remembered a picture of myself I had seen earlier that day. Although I am laughing and smiling (I was with my sister...we do that a lot together), I was actually a very insecure and anxious person with a lot of broken pieces. 

Reflecting on that picture and comparing the woman I used to be to who I am now,  just blew me away. Two years ago, I could not have imagined knocking out 5-mile evening hikes ALL BY MYSELF on the regular or hitting spin classes as many times a week as I can get them in. 

I am not the same person. Actually, we are not the same people. 

And again, God used people to help fuel those changes. A good portion of the hike was spent thinking about our friends Dy Ann and Michael who led J and me to this lifestyle that changed our health for the better. Because of our relationship with them, I am 60 pounds lighter and Jason and I both are the healthiest we have ever been. 

During the rest of my hike, I reflected on this past year and all the ways we are better people because God brought them into our lives. 

Three different couples, three super impactful friendships that are actively shaping our daily choices and leading us down a road we could not have imagined just two short years ago. 

We have been so very blessed to have the Lord surround us with amazing people throughout our lives during various seasons. We have been challenged, loved on, led and carried sometimes, but the key has been to let them in. 

What we learn from our friends is priceless. God uses them and their unique gifts and abilities to teach us and grow the qualities in us He wants to use to complete his purpose. And...hopefully, they get something in return. 

We sure do love them all.

"Who you spend time with is who you become. If you want to master your life, it is important that you surround yourself with people who inspire you to achieve greatness."
~Stefan James

Being intentional about your marriage is not limited to scheduling date nights and good communication. Who you choose to surround yourself with can either strengthen or weaken your relationship as a couple. 

Be mindful of those who have influence in your lives, you will be amazed at how God can use them to make you a better version of YOU. 

Everything is the Best.

This morning's hike had me like....sighhhhhhh.

I froze when I turned the corner and saw this view in front of me. It was the perfect mixture of the last remnants of winter and the new life of spring smothered in exquisite morning light. 

I literally caught myself saying, "Morning light is just the best."

And then I remembered a fabulous sunset picture I caught two weeks ago when I said the exact same thing about evening light. And my mind went spiraling down the list of contradictory bests I espouse during different seasons and times of the year. 

Spring is my favorite until Autumn. Rainy, cold weather gets me going, but then I get desperate for warm and sunny patio weather and that's only until I am ready for a snowfall (yes, I know, it's Texas and those are like unicorns here). 

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but so is Easter, then, of course, there is Christmas and I really do love Memorial Day. 

The list goes on and on of all my favorites and how they completely contradict each other. 

But then, like He always does, the Holy Spirit interrupted this fascinating dialogue I was having with myself about what a what a complete mess I am. This conversation may have been occurring out loud in the middle of the woods...or maybe not.

You know, it's whatever. 

I guess before I could really go down that hole all by myself He decided to set the record straight and interjected with:

"Well, if I created it all, then Everything is the Best."

Touche´.

And that was that. I can call everything the best because I believe He created it and if He looked at creation at the end of the 6th day and declared it all good, then well, I guess it really is.

We are the ones who assign preferences and favorites that are so often tied to memories and experiences, not Him. 

In Ecclesiastes, we are reminded that there is a time and a season for everything and that He has made everything beautiful in its time. 

If that is true, then I am golden...and not officially crazy. 

So this past weekend, Everything was the Best.

The surprise getaway with my love (who won date month by the way) that included all the coffee, a little shopping, a little cappuccino from a revisit to Edith's, some chill time with The Office...and more coffee.

There was also more laughing than should probably be allowed as we realized two things: 

1) We are absolutely not hip enough to pull off the new trends in jeans we found in one of the stores in Dallas.

(Yes, they are actually made inside out...on purpose) 

and 

2) We are too old to learn how to take a perfect selfie.

This was one of literally over 40 (we learned that there was a burst option on our phones...who knew and how do you turn it off???). 

So, yeah the 24 hours spent alone together was the best. 

Until Saturday, when we met the boys for a movie, church, and then dinner. These outings include our oldest being hit on by every cute waitress that comes our way and enduring dinner topics that include "So, who would you say fits the Holy Trinity of Business Moguls?" 

Yes, this was a real question posed by the oldest and quickly answered by the youngest. They then spent the next fifteen minutes debating the qualifications, validating their suggestions and settled on Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Bill Gates (but he barely made the cut). 

Jason and I don't really participate in our boys' constant convos about politics, economics, and other such topics unless a bit of parental guidance is needed (i.e.: Remember guys, be nice. Act like people who really love Jesus, okay?).

Every day, we are utterly amazed at the brilliance these boys exhibit and wonder how and why God gave us children that are so much smarter than we are.

Then that was the best. 

Until Sunday....Didn't I mention Easter is my favorite? 

I LOVE EASTER. 

I love all it represents. I love the feeling of peace and victory that beautifully intertwine and fill the atmosphere on Easter Sunday Morning. I love the uncontainable joy that wakes me in the morning and the feeling of rebirth that surrounds the day.

And on this Easter morning when we woke up a little late, it was cloudy, damp, and cold, and someone I love with a beard woke up in a funk, I had to fight to remember it was EASTER and it is my FAVORITE.

It helped when we arrived at my parents and these cuties celebrating their first full year of marriage were there....

Yes, in matching shirts. Yes, it was April Fool's Day too. No, they weren't being ironic.

They celebrated one year of a miraculous marriage on the day we celebrated the Resurrection and that's kind of amazing.

The day was filled with laughter, my whole family together, baby chickens, target practice (on hay bales, not chickens), long awaited for grilled ribs, and lots and lots of pictures. 

And in amongst all of these things, even though the sun never came out and it never warmed up and my favorite bearded guy struggled to feel his best, it was a pretty good day.

No, it wasn't what I was hoping for...my heart is so tied to J's that I physically hurt when he is having a rough day, but if God created it all and said everything is beautiful in its time, then I guess it was the best too. 

Adventures are kind of funny that way, no two are really the same. Some have all positive experiences, some have a mix, and even some have none, but if there is a season for everything and the Creator's stamp of approval is on it, then it can all be the best...

And we don't have to pick a favorite.