Okay, I'm a fan. I mean, they're like really, really, really great.
I may have let out a huge sigh of relief that first time I heard my doctor say "It's a boy!"
And while I prayed, hoped, and believed fervently I would have a little princess the second time around, I can't describe the excitement I felt when I heard "It's a boy!"...again.
We have the same nose, right? I mean #twinning!
Let's be real honest here, I wasn't exactly trained for this (I was raised in a mostly girl home and my poor dad was way outnumbered), but I kind of feel like I was wired for it.
And if you go back and find evidence of me trying to put a ponytail in my niece's hair, you will see what I mean (thank goodness there is none in existence...I think).
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly a tomboy. I was sweet and feminine, but not exactly super girly either. My room was never flooded with pink, to this day I absolutely cannot stand a feather boa and you can forget about anything with glitter.
Like ever.
So all this to say, while I never hoped or prayed to be the only queen in a house full of kings, it happened that way and I'm super happy about it.
So, here's where I'm going to get really real with you and tell you what I've learned from being the only double x chromosome around these parts:
1. First and foremost, I was MADE for this.
Yes, I was a little caught off guard the first time I changed a diaper and pee landed in my right ear. Okay, I was REALLY caught off guard.
Who knew that was possible?
But there was a learning curve and I picked up on all the tricks real quick.
It didn't take long for me to have an endless supply of Hot Wheels and Cheerios in all of my purses and thoroughly enjoy screaming at the top of my lungs at all of the football games and eventually make our annual trips to catch all of the Marvel, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings movies.
I can tune out random belches like a pro as though they were supposed to be part of the conversation, totally not notice when someone is scratching or adjusting themselves, and most of the inappropriate banter doesn't even phase me anymore.
Most.
2. It is totally possible to raise young men who understand what REAL equality is.
My boys are being raised by me (this is not just J's influence) to be confident and comfortable in their own masculinity as reflections of the nature of the Almighty God who created them.
And just as we emphasize that who they are created to be in the image of God is exactly who they need to be, they understand that I, as a woman, am also made in the image of God; that both women and men are on an equal playing field, and that both genders bring gifts and abilities to the table the other does not possess.
One of the best gifts my husband has given me in this home is the role of a true partner. I say this is a gift because I am acutely aware that there are many relationships that do not function in this light. And as such, we have spent almost twenty years modeling to our sons what it looks like when both sexes are able to acknowledge where the strengths of one compensate for the weaknesses of the other and vice versa.
I am not put out one bit by the fact that J is physically stronger than me and he has no problem deferring to my natural intuition when it comes to decision making or handling certain situations.
3) The final and most important lesson I have learned is what a momma bear I can be when it comes to my sons.
In this current social climate, we are increasingly watching masculinity become more and more vilified. Young men are constantly corrected and told they are sexist for opening doors for women, shouted down for "mansplaining" and insulted for having an inherently masculine worldview.
But what if I told you my oldest opens doors for everyone? (Not just you sweetheart.) Or how about the fact that when you interrupt and talk over your girlfriends that is the female version of mansplaining? Or how about the fact that, of course, they have an inherently masculine worldview...they are male. You have an inherently female worldview...you are female.
And please do not get me started by the constant "men are all a bunch of bumbling buffoons" messages the media throws at us on a regular basis.
Regardless of what popular society wants to tell my boys about who they are, I am here to make sure they know the truth. I am not here to fix them or train them to fit a mold the world thinks they should fit. My job is to point them to Jesus and let him do the rest.
You see, J and I firmly believe we are planted by God into the families we are exactly supposed to be in. God has given us the opportunity to build a marriage that models real partnership and we are running with it. J is not here to rescue me and I wasn't placed here to cook all of the meals and clean the house. Quite honestly, I do all of the cooking because I am better at it and he does all of the laundry because he's a bit OCD. And instead of assigning tasks and roles in our home based on our genders, we chose them based on our gifts and talents...and if we are really honest, some of our gifts and talents are actually inherent to that x or y chromosome (it's biology, not bigotry).
After about 20 years of living this way, I've come to really appreciate the amazing gifts my men bring to this world. The experience of being the only girl in my home has given me the opportunity to study the hows and whys of my boys and while there are some things I may never understand, I am in awe of everything that makes them, well them.
And the beautiful thing about it is that the more I have shown respect for them in their masculinity, the more they have learned to respect me in my femininity.
But mostly, I'm grateful for a husband who has helped create an environment that honors me as a woman so that I can raise young men who know how to earn the right to be respected and honored as men.
No comments:
Post a Comment