Real Life: Real Talk

Last Saturday we went on an incredible hike, but I'm struggling to write this week.

Why? 

Who in the world knows.

My guys are sitting outside the window right now listening to something that sounds like either Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam or I don't know...I never get it right and they're definitely going to laugh at my feeble attempts at guessing. 

Oh, no, I got it!!! 

It's Nirvana. My dignity just may be saved. 

I think I'm wrong. I'm probably wrong. 

They are doing the boy thing; cigars, music, coffee and talking about life.

And I'm just well beyond proud of them and thoroughly enjoying listening to them through the window right now. 

Anyhow, it's BEEN A WEEK...or two...or three, to be honest with you. 

Just kind of this funky place of frustration and struggle.

I started a piece for this week's blog about our hike and the amazing things God showed us on the trails like three different times.

And I erased it each time once I got about half-way through. 

What is that all about???

So, instead of writing about it, I'm just going to give you the link to the video we did that day so you can at least get a glimpse. (Click HERE to listen to everything I would have just rewritten anyway).

Today's analysis of all things overthinking led me to this semi-understanding of my current state of mind:

I tend to see the world as a giant jigsaw puzzle and because of this, I make connections between spiritual concepts and real-life experiences pretty quickly. Some days it leads to amazing clarity (like Saturday's hike) and others, well...

You know what it's like when you try to force puzzle pieces together that don't fit? 

Or when you think you have the whole puzzle figured out and you can't find that one last piece?

Or, when you start to work on the puzzle and realize some wrong pieces were mixed in?

Yep...all of those. It's felt a bit like that lately.

But God...He did his thing, you know?

He reminded me how very loved and valued we are by gifting us a great night out with friends last week who kept telling us how loved and valued we are. 

They're just good people and we are lucky to have them. 

He sent an email from a complete stranger who shared with me that what I'm doing matters and my willingness to be used by God to speak to others made a difference in their life.

That was pretty cool and kind of life-affirming and something I really needed. 

He gave me a couple of hours with my "spiritual twin" who speaks with boldness and conviction and who happens to always be in a parallel place with me. 

It's kind of weird and amazing all at the same time and she's sort of great. 

And, he gave me time with my guys all in one place and under one roof this week.  

We've laughed way more than seems natural, which is its own kind of healing. 

So, tonight I came to a pretty legit conclusion:

My life is good. 

I have good people. We love each other well. We have everything we need...give or take a few things. 

Eh.

Our home isn't perfect, but it is full of laughter and peace. 

And anyway, isn't' that what this whole life and adventure thing are all about? 

Every day doesn't end wrapped up neat and tidy with a bow. 

Some days are just hard or tricky or confusing or feel a bit like trudging through the mud. 

Other days just kind of ebb and flow and feel a little humdrum like we're swinging back and forth waiting for the next thing to come along.

But the truth is we aren't. 

We are just on that part of the trail that kind of feels like work and more work and a bit of repetitiveness but, knowing what I know about the Master Engineer I'm sure we are going to end up somewhere pretty special sooner than later. 

He's a really good guy (kind of an understatement I know) and has never left us stuck out on the trails. I'm sure there is a spectacular view somewhere ahead and all of the work and struggle and wait will pay off. 

In the interim, I'll enjoy the time I spend day in and day out with my boys, my family, my friends and my God and pray that He continues to give the hubs the patience to hang with me on the rough days, but that's another gift I've been given...I'm not really worried the hubs will run out of patience with me, like ever. 

See, I told you it's all good over here. 

So, here's what I've got for you: Hang tight. Keep moving forward. Trust that you will end up where you are supposed to be and enjoy who you've been given to walk through life with.