Real Life

There are days we want to go hike but real life and priorities take over, kind of like Saturday when our first-year college kid went back to school after his month-long Christmas break. 

Honestly, it was such a weird, bittersweet day. True to form, he and I spent the first hour of the morning butting heads over something so insignificant I can't even recall what it was. Even more true to form, Jason just sat in his chair shaking his head and commenting on how he is just done with us. 

You see, that strong-willed, super-opinionated 19-year-old of ours is JUST. LIKE. ME. What this really means is that we only speak "stubborn-ese" and express emotions through arguing instead of just admitting that his leaving was going to be a little tough. 

In this boy-filled house, our sentimentality levels are quite low so adjusting to our new normal after Dillon originally left happened rather quickly. Thanksgiving break ended as quickly as it began and gave us no real understanding of what it would be like to have his return for one whole month. 

Surprisingly enough, the adjustment happened quickly and while it was new for all of us and we learned a lot, Jason and I can now honestly say that THIS phase of parenting has to be the hardest and weirdest there is. 

Jason adored having his "sense of humor twin" back home. They laugh at the same inappropriate things and wrestle for no reason at all and neither I nor Greg engages in that juvenile behavior...well, not as frequently as J would like anyway. I really enjoyed having my firstborn back under my roof at night. Knowing he was safely asleep in a REAL bed, and not the egg crate foam mattress that is his current excuse for a bed was the epitome of peace. However, that sweetness was often juxtaposed with the constant, "MAAAMMMM, I got it! I GOT IT!" that followed many of our conversations over the last several weeks. 

Somehow, J and I have found ourselves in a season where we have to carefully pick and choose our discussions as we want him to act like an adult, but he's not really an adult, but he lives on his own, but we cover the car insurance, but... You get it. So when he spent the last two days here sick and I was asking him to be on top of taking his meds at school and I got this response:

"You can want in one hand and, uh, "wish" in the other..."

Don't get me wrong, he is truly an incredible young man and we have been utterly blessed to have him as our firstborn. We were literally his age when we got married and just a year older than that when he was born. How weird is that? 

The very fact that he turned out so well when he had two babies as parents is nothing less than miraculous and one of the very best testaments of our journey! Raising him taught us more about growing up than anything else. This has often included constantly having conversations centered around teaching him to not make the same decisions we did. Each one leaves us wondering if this will be the one that will send him over the edge, but for the most part, it never does. He and God both have a lot of grace for the two of us. 

This same type of conversation was still occurring in some form when we were shoving his things in suitcases and trash bags and heading out to load them into the car for the trip back to school. 

How in the world did he leave with way more than he came home with? 

One thing that J and I have learned during this part of our life journey is that while our parenting requirements may change, the opportunity to teach and, hopefully, impart wisdom, never does, and for that, we are eternally grateful. 

By the grace of God, two young and dumb kids have made it through 26 years of life together, were given the chance to marry each other twice and raise two amazing kids. 

We are now entering a phase of life that has left behind changing diapers, wiping noses, and taking kids to football games, and now have the freedom to plan weekly hikes without hiring a sitter or go out with friends to dinner without being interrupted 800 million times. Truth, be told we are not sad about it one bit. And truth be told again...I'm not sure saying goodbye when one of your kids leaves and reality hits that life has changed and they don't really "belong" to you that way anymore ever gets any easier. 

Be still my heart. 

Maybe next this week's date night and Saturday morning hike will take the sting out of this one just a bit. 

It's all good though, it's just a new leg of the journey in our new adventure.