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Saturday, April 18, 2020

There is Beauty in the Valley


I know these trails like the back of my own hand. And, every time I approach this fork in the path, I face the same decision: Do I go high or low?

The split to the right takes an immediate incline that leaves me breathless but leads to a fantastic view overlooking the lake. The reward for the work is almost instantaneous, and I get one of the toughest climbs on this trail completed.

The left side of the trail takes a gentle slope down into the shadows of trees that border the lake’s edge. There are some ups and downs and an eventual longer, gentler climb to the very same lookout to which the right side of the fork leads.

This loop in the trail consistently offers this decision to me every time I arrive at this spot. Most often, I head straight to the right! I tend to want to get the hard stuff over with and really just want the reward of entering into the high place with the incredible view under the open sun. 

But Monday, that Still Small Voice that echoes within nudged me to the left with those words: “There’s beauty in the valley.”

And true to form, He continued to speak as I followed His lead to the left. Instinctively, I knew the lesson would unfold with each step I took and would apply to so much more than this particular hike. 

As I began down this part of the trail and round the first small bend, I found myself on an open stretch bathed in sunlight before entering into the lower and darker parts of the path. Here, He reminded me of how life seems to operate just the same way. 

Just six weeks ago, many of us were in a similar bright and happy place. Life was relatively smooth with no real darkness looming overhead, and we had what we thought was a clear view ahead. 

As I continued further down the trail, the trees seemed to creep closer and closer, making all traces of sunlight eventually disappear.

The coolness of the low places became more evident as the shade set in. And while I found myself there in the shadows, I still knew He was there and leading me. 

On that particular day, I knew He was waiting for me to take notice of what actually occurred as I journeyed through those low places. Would I focus on being “stuck” in the valley away from the beauty of the high places? Or, would I pay attention and look for His presence there, in the shadows? 

As I continued to walk, I noticed that as the breeze moved through the trees, glimpses of sunshine fell on the trail. As I kept moving forward, I was able to enjoy these small but bright spots on the path. They offered moments of remembrance that light is always there, and even when you are in the valley, small pieces always find their way through. 

Who is calling you? Who is checking in? Who is reaching out to you? Are they your bright glimpses of light in the darkness? 

The next thing the Holy Spirit brought to my attention was how as I went further down the trail, I lost connection to the music I was listening to. To be cut off from what was bringing me peace at that time was a little jarring. He reminded me that something similar happens when we find ourselves in dark seasons of life. 

Many of us are feeling disconnected right now. We are missing the noise and hum of life that we find joy in. But there in the silence, we are positioned for something more significant, the ability to press into the silence and ask Him to speak and fill the void. 

And He did. As I continued to walk, He continued to speak. He drew my attention to the fact that on the trail, we have to keep our senses keen. Often we want to rush through the valley seasons of life, but when we are in a rush, we forget to take notice of the rocks, roots, and other debris on the path that can cause us to trip. All it took was that first stumble over a tree root that made me remember the necessity of slowing down to pay attention to the path I was on. 

We are all currently finding ourselves in a season we do not get a choice to rush through. While we may feel powerless, we actually do get to determine as to how we will respond to these circumstances. Will we be fretful and fixated on just wanting it all to be over with? Or, will we lean in and ask the Lord to speak and ask Him what He wants us to see while we are here? 

On this particular route, there are actually small paths that jut off the main trail onto small clearings at the lake’s edge. These spots leave room for no more than one or two people and definitely offer no place to sit, but they do provide a brief break from the darkness and the refreshing breeze off the water. They are the places comfortable enough to catch your breath, but not to stay. Here the Lord reminded me of the several valley seasons we have endured where we found ourselves with brief respites from the pain; times when we were given breaks from the constant onslaught of difficulty and loneliness. It was in these places where we were given a fresh infilling of strength to go back into the valley and continue through. 

What are your places of rest? Has someone brought you food? Have you laughed until you hurt during family game nights? Have you found yourself enjoying time outside more? 
These are “places” intentionally positioned in your valley by a gracious God to give you the refreshing you need to get back on the trail. 

After I took my own much-needed break at one of these spots, I got back on the trail. I was over half-way through this shaded region when my ankle unexpectedly gave way, and I found myself skidding almost directly off the side of the path into the water that was about six feet below me. Without explanation, I stopped sliding just at the edge and was able to regain my composure. This is where the Lord reminded me how the enemy typically finds a way to get in a sucker punch even when we are in the valley. One would think that the season of darkness is bad enough itself, but then the unexpected comes. But, when we lean in and listen for His voice, we find He often comes to our rescue before the bad gets worse, and we find ourselves drowning. 

Have you lost an income? Has someone you love fallen desperately ill? Are you enduring this season alone? The enemy has no “good” days. There is never a time he thinks, “I’ll just give her a break today. She’s been through enough.” 

But, God IS Good. He loves us and comes to our rescue just in time. Are you calling out to Him? 


Once my spirit settled, and I got over the idea that I almost actually fell in the lake, I began to find myself on the places of the trail where the foliage begins to thin and big patches of light break through. And this sweet thing was there to remind me that there truly is beauty in the valley. 

After the darkness, after the stumbles, after the disconnection, and as the trail began to turn upward, the branches started to thin, my music came back on, and all of the pieces began to fall into place. 

I was nearing the end of the low places of the trail as the gentle slope up to the high places came into focus. It occurred to me that we never find ourselves on the path to the high places if we don’t endure the valley seasons. 

I never again saw another flower like the one above anywhere else on that two miles of dirt. And I’m pretty sure God knew precisely why. 

Yes, I certainly would have preferred to take the hook to the left. After taking the long way around, I did eventually end up in my favorite place overlooking the lake. But, the lessons I learned in the low places would have never been discovered, and the beauty would have never been found. 

How is your valley looking right now? Are you stumbling through, missing connection, and forgetting to take time to stop and catch your breath? If you are you may be missing what He is hoping you will see. 

He was right. He IS right. There is beauty in the valley. 

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
Psalm 23:1-4


Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Isn't That the Way it Should Be? How to Have Your Partner's Back and Build Trust in Your Marriage


I'm a fierce protector of this man right here. 

In word and spirit anyway.

He's the one who is always on guard and ready to jump in front of a moving train or run into a burning building for the rest of us, but I always have his back. 

Even when there are times I'm not 100 percent sure of what I am protecting. 

Honestly, isn't that the way it should be?

I feel like there are countless people out there who would say yes with their lips, but their actions would betray them. 

It's easy to sing your love's praises when you are happy and everything is all roses, but what does it look like when things aren't at their best?

J and I have a few standard rules we have adopted over the years that just make all the difference in the world and keep us in a place of complete trust with each other.

1. We keep our circle tight. 

We have bad days like anyone else. Days we just don't jive or agree on topics and all-out ugly fights sometimes. When those days come, and occasionally they do, we have a very short list of who we go to for advice or even to just "vent" (and I use that term super loosely). "Our people" aren't people who will commiserate with us and they love us enough to redirect us if our time with them turns into a complaint session. They are those who hold the same values and beliefs as we do so that we know any advice they offer will line up with who we really are and not how they view the world. For both of us, the rule is God first, and trusted friends next.
Oh, and by the way, those friends are never the opposite sex. Some call it prudish, we call it smart. And there are no exceptions.
Ever.

2. We guard our tongues. 

Having each other's backs has a whole lot to do with wielding our words very carefully. Whether it is to each other during intense discussion or even to our close friends in a time of need, we are very intentional about the words we choose. And those times we choose to let our emotions get the best of us and allow words that pierce escape, we are quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness.

We live in a world that is so blindingly unaware of the power of words. The Bible goes as far as saying that the power of life and death are in the tongue and even warns that those who love it will eat the fruit it produces. 

We can throw all kinds of old adages out there like you reap what you sow and a sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me and any other quip you can think of, but the truth is that words are the most powerful weapons we have been given to wield and if not used correctly, and with the right intention, they can do irreparable damage. 

What this looks like for us can range from being mindful of the words we use when in the midst of a heated discussion, when we are in need advice from a friend about our marriage, and even down to the way we talk about each other in groups. 

3.  We never put each other down, especially in group settings. 

This qualifier "especially in group settings" matters! J and I love gathering with our friends! We look forward to our bi-monthly life group meetings, going to dinner with our people and gathering with our family. 

In those settings, you can absolutely bet that my jokester of a husband is going to loosen up and make some comments. Many of them are at my expense and border on the line of inappropriate at times, but they never insult. 

There will always be light-hearted teasing, but under no conditions do we ever open up an opportunity to make the other look bad in front of others. If anything, we actually do the opposite and seek opportunities
 to highlight the things we adore about each other to our friends.

4. We make each other first and let the whole world know it!

He is always my first priority. Yes, even before our kids. It is routine for me to say the phrase "let me check with Jason first" when it comes to making decisions around here. 

And, he does the same for me. 

We are each other's advisors, best friends, confidants, and fiercest protectors. 

Don't get us wrong, we love, love, love all the people God has entrusted us with. But, we also know that we made an oath that we would see this life all the way to the end with each other and we attack every single day of our lives with that promise at the forefront.

We may have gotten it wrong the first time around, but we are seeing it through this time. 

Here's the thing, we learned a lot from our marriage, divorce, remarriage situation: a strong marriage is a choice. It doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't happen without sacrifice and intention. 

If you have some concept of what your ideal marriage looks like, yet you are far away from it, maybe it's time to do some serious introspection. 

Take your eyes off of all of the things you feel your partner is doing wrong and take a long look in the mirror.

Can you honestly say that you are doing all that you can to help build trust in your marriage? Can your partner say that you have their back? 

If there is an area where you see that you can make some changes, swallow your pride and just do it. Take some time, talk with your spouse and lay some ground rules for what will work for you. 

And then go celebrate. 



Tuesday, November 6, 2018

That's Not the Whole Story.


It's a fan favorite. 

Want to start a business? "I can do all things..."
Want to run a marathon? "I can do all things..."
Want to win American Idol? 
"I can do all things..."

You name almost any lofty goal and Christians come out of the woodwork with this as their "life verse." 

It is admirable. 

Don't get me wrong. But, there is so much more to this than the name it and claim it mentality that often accompanies the usage of these words. 

I am to the point that I hear a little, "Wah, wahhhh..." ringing in my ears when I come across this verse in my social media feeds. 

It makes my head spin and my heart hurt to see these words thrown around the way they are because I know that I know there is so much more to be gained if we were to truly understand what this verse is offering to us as believers. 

Sadly this common usage gives a wrong perspective of what Paul was trying to teach the believers he was addressing and how Jesus really works on our behalf.

But honestly, I was guilty of doing this very same thing not that long ago. 

So, BIG siiiiigggghhhhhh...

 On the other side of my own Philippians 4 experience, I often wonder how many of those who tout 4:13 as their life verse have actually read verses 11 and 12:

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."

This is what Paul was really talking about. He certainly can do all things through Him (Christ) who gives him strength. 

Why? 

Because he lived it all

Not just victory. 
Not just getting the golden ticket or buzzer or achieving super duper triple gold level. 
And not just killing it in the business world. 

He truly learned how to be content in every situation he faced: in plenty and in want, in the best of times and the worst of times, through false accusations, imprisonment, loss and experiencing the miraculous.

Philippians 4:13 is a declaration of contentment rooted firmly in experiencing the heights and depths of life and knowing that Jesus sustained him through every single moment.

When examined in context, this verse takes on a whole new connotation that I am not so sure would be as wildly popular as it is when it is singled out. 

No one wants to go through part A to get to part B. 

No one really wants to live through the depths and lean on the strength of Jesus in order to get to the other side and say, "Oh, I really can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!" 

Doing so would mean walking through the hard things and learning how to live in and with peace despite what you are facing. 

I know, it really is just so much more fun to set a huge goal and proclaim that, "I can do anything I want because Jesus gives me strength," cross our fingers and hope it all works out (even when our motives are sometimes less than pure).

The truth of the matter is that we have taken something so very rich in depth and meaning and pulled out the parts we really like to fit our own desires and in the process, have completely perverted it. 

We have cheapened the words Paul so eloquently shared with the church of Philippi as a reminder of who Jesus really is to us in times of need to a catchy slogan we use to try to get anything we want.

And the only way we can change it is to go back to the text, look at the whole picture, and remember that the strength of Jesus is so much greater than our own self-centered desires. 

The strength of Jesus can carry us through every situation life can possibly throw our way and THAT is the truth of "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." 

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I CAN do all things through Him who strengthens me."
(Philippians 4:11-13)



Wednesday, September 12, 2018

When Money Isn't The Answer..and Never Really Has Been.


We never saw ourselves as money-obsessed; in our minds, that was something only "rich" people could be. Not us. Never us.

You can't be obsessed with something you don't have, right?

Truthfully, we have struggled financially for the majority of our adult lives, and truth be told we both came from homes that tended to struggle as well. So when a preacher would get up on stage and warn about serving the god of mammon, we just often disregarded what we were hearing, thinking he just had to be talking to all those people out there throwing their money away on designer handbags and luxury cars. 

Such an awesome attitude. Am I right? 

Despite our faulty reasoning and complete and total ignorance, money completely ruled our lives. Ummm, better yet, the lack of it totally ruled our lives. In fact, it was a constant topic and central theme of most of our arguments throughout at least 20 years of our marriage. 

We made almost every major, minor, and in between decision based on how much we did or did not have or what we did or did not expect to come our way. We found ourselves constantly chasing job changes, home changes and overall lifestyle changes based on how much money we were making and how much our bills cost. This led to us becoming grade-A experts in the art of moving and starting new jobs. We were in a never-ending cycle trying desperately to ease the burden and loosen the bondage that gripped our lives. 

And then two years ago we took a leap of faith based on potential income and that potential totally disappeared. For the first year, we found ourselves flying through the air and sometimes gliding dangerously close to the ground, waiting for money to fix our problem. 

But God. He had a different plan in mind. 

In the book of Acts, Peter and John are on their way to the temple when they pass by a paralytic man who daily was placed a the gate by family members so that he could beg for money. 

Because of his unfortunate circumstances, he was unable to work in the traditional sense, so this was his contribution as well as the solution to his problems. Each day, he waited for finances to come his way and in the process, got stuck in a routine of believing this was his decisive answer, his ultimate provision from God. It had become so route, so expected, that when Peter and John approached him that day, he anticipated the very same response from them. However, this pair wasn't ready to give what he was expecting, that thing he thought he needed. They were ready to offer him more. 

Can you imagine the disappointment that crept in when Peter said, "I want to give you something, but I do not have silver or gold"? That flash feeling of discouragement that swept over him when he heard those words. Another letdown on top of all of the challenges his already difficult life presented. Then the confusion that followed with Peter's next words: "Here is what I can offer you: stand up and walk in the name of Jesus of Nazareth."

Peter wanted him to do what? Didn't he know that he had to be carried there every day? Couldn't they see that walking was not an option for him? And, how did walking pay the bills anyway? He had never known any other kind of life. Could he even open his mind to what that would look like?

Peter reached out and grabbed the man's hand, nonetheless, and began to pull him to his feet and as he did, his ankles found strength and he was healed. 

HE WAS HEALED.

This story is such a beautiful picture of what we often face in life, of what Jason and I did face in life. We have a struggle or a difficulty of some sort and just come to accept it as is and find ourselves believing in a substitute as the final answer to our problems. While that substitute can easily be seen as a blessing, and no doubt is sometimes even a gift from the Almighty Himself, it often becomes our focus and we lose sight of what God really wants for us.

That has been our story for the whole of our married lives...up until the last year or so anyway. 

Money was always our answer, our solution to everything, just like it was for this paralyzed man. Unfortunately, as you and I both know, it is only a temporary fix until you need more and as such, it is never, ever enough. What we didn't realize when we took this divine leap, was that God did not have the same plan as we did. We had dreams of a thriving home business and/or new, successful careers for the both of us as the answer to our lifetime of struggle. What we have actually learned is that He never planned on giving us silver or gold...

His plan was healing. 

With healing, the beggar is able to now work for himself instead of being dependent upon others. With healing, he is able to participate and celebrate as his friends and family do. With healing, he is able to really live, just the way Jesus intended for him too.

Real healing is so much more than a temporary fix to our current problems. Real healing is a permanent fix to everything. It's part of that whole abundant life thing that Jesus so desperately wants to give us.

So when God didn't show up with silver or gold, or big raises, or new jobs, or cheaper bills, but offered instead to change our whole outlook on money and what, or better yet, Who our real provider his, He was offering healing. Instead, He taught us to trust that He would always show up in time and that we would never go without. He taught us to reframe the way we look at finances and ourselves. He reminded us not what, but Who our source is and in the process turned our world totally upside down. 

Like Peter, instead of just standing there using his words, he reached out with that great, big, capable hand and began to pull us to our feet. For awhile we stood there, holding onto his hand and feeling our feet and ankles begin to strengthen. It was, and often still is, the scariest and most freeing thing we have ever experienced. We are no longer laying on our mat waiting for provision to come, we've been given the gift of standing firm in the foundation of what God is offering us. And now we are being charged to run headlong into the future He has carved out for us.

Paul summed it up best when explaining it to the people who witnessed the miracle that day:

"So that's how this miracle happened: we have faith in the name of Jesus, and He is the power that made this man strong--this man who is known to all of you. It is faith in Jesus that has given this man his complete health here today, in front of all of you." Acts 3:16, The Voice

Faith in Jesus; something we thought we had, but we never really challenged it. Certainly, we had faith in Jesus to keep sending the right job or cheaper bills. What we actually did was have faith in the substitute, and when it would fail, we were always crushed. Through this journey, He challenged us to have real faith in Him so that we could see an authentic miracle happen. 

Another new job, cutting our bills even more, or moving to a cheaper home yet again is no longer a good enough answer. We could no longer wait for another handout while sitting on our mats. 

We needed healing and we needed Jesus to do it, and in His great providence, He has chosen to lead us on a path that has given us just that. 

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Marriage on a Budget: How We Turned Our Challenges Into a GREAT Dating Life


We have a ton of fun together, but it is definitely something we had to learn to do. When you start dating in high school and get married and have babies in college, you learn to live on a budget. Unfortunately, financial struggle was something we dealt with for many, many years so we had only two choices:

1. Wallow in self-pity and never enjoy life

or

2. Get creative with how to entertain ourselves within a very tight budget.

To be honest, we did a bit of both.

Option one only led to a whole bunch of heartache and played its own part in our divorce and option two opened the doors to what we are doing today.

With almost thirty years of relationship experience under our belts (yes, we were babies when we started dating), we want nothing more than to share some of the great things we have learned over the years with others. Our hope is that we can inspire those around us to take on their marriage from a proactive stance and avoid much of the drama we dealt with.

This little project of changing our approach to great dates has become a passion of ours over the years. It met our relationship needs by giving us ways to spend time together outside of the house but also takes away the financial pressure that maintaining a dating life sometimes puts on a marriage.

So, without further ado, we present our tips to great dates on a budget (the Married Twice & Living Life version)...

Tip 1: Keep it simple.

Oh my goodness, how much stress we put on ourselves when we overcomplicate what should never be overcomplicated. Dating in marriage is just about staying connected and taking care of each other. I (Kara) am the world's worst as setting super duper high expectations and then letting my little heart be smashed to pieces when everything doesn't fall into place. That is just no fun for anyone and completely goes against the entire point of going on dates.

Look for something to do that can be a "one stop shop" and will give you ample time to spend together.

In our world, this looks like places that will allow us entry for a minimal amount and let us stay for hours.



This is part of the how and why we took up hiking! We got a chance to explore and get a workout in on the cheap. Look for local parks and lakes, fill your backpack with some water and snacks and go explore! 

Tip 2: Get creative and be adventurous.

Think outside of the box. We often limit ourselves to only going places or doing things we have done before or those things we think we like. Being willing to try something or someplace new gives you a shared first-time experience and you just may discover something new about yourselves as individuals and as a couple.



On one of our Saturday morning walks, we stumbled across a local farmers market and fell in love! We discovered the fun in exploring the various booths and meeting the people who are so passionate about their food and craft. Now we have added this to our list of fun things to do and seek out different markets to visit. Yes, it can be expensive if you go without a plan, so we don't. We discuss what we are in search of, if anything at all, ahead of time and just go to sightsee and people-watch if need be.

Tip 3: Be flexible.

We don't both LOVE all of our dates. But, we love being together and we enjoy doing something that makes our partner happy. I'm not a fan of golf, but I will happily drive the cart and let my guy do something he loves.



And on the other side of the spectrum is my love for museums and botanical gardens. Most local museums have free admission (aside from their special attractions) so as long as you are willing to open your heart and mind to activities that challenge the mind, you are golden for a cheap date! Art museums were not always J's favorite until he realized they were an inexpensive way to make me happy and with time, he grew to love them as well.

Tip 4: Have a backup plan.

Plan A does not always work out, so it's great to keep an idea in your hip pocket to pull out just in case it is necessary. Many of our dates include outdoor activities and sometimes we have to bend to the whims of the weather. That usually means we take it indoors.



As a result, we have taken our penchant for coffee and have turned finding amazing coffee houses into a hobby. They work great as an indoor option and for the price of a cup we can go in and visit for as long as we like. Often they are THE prime place we like to go for our "planning" dates. We find a great spot, spread our laptops, planners, and notebooks out and get to work. Recently our coffee shop game got a shot of inspiration as we watched a couple enjoy themselves with a deck of cards. You can bet we'll be taking a round of Spite and Malice to one of our favorite spots soon!

Here's the deal, one of your best friends as a couple on a budget will be the internet! We google everything, make sure to keep an eye on Groupon for great deals, follow our local classical music radio station that keeps us up to date on area events, follow local city pages on Facebook for free city events and always, always, always keep open hearts and open minds to new ideas.

While we are no longer the same two people we used to be, we still purpose to find ways to date on a budget not because we need to, but because we want to.

We intentionally challenge each other each month to plan at least one date based around these parameters because we have found the beauty in simplicity. There is something magical that happens when we make our dates about us and not about what we are spending to make it happen. It opens a door to creativity and reminds us it is about our time together, not outdoing each other.

Whatever you do, just make sure you make dating a priority. Be proactive and intentional about your marriage no matter what your financial circumstances are. When you purpose to take care of your marriage, God will always show up and bless your efforts, you can count on it. 

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

When Vacation Imitates LIFE.


I love us. I really, really do.

I love who God has made us as individuals and as a couple. We are total opposites who balance each other perfectly and yet, somehow, we are sometimes so in sync we often say the exact same thing at the exact same time. 

It's really kind of cool and a little weird. 

This is probably partially attributable to our years of marriage, but even more so it may have something to do with our "couple personality", something that has been carefully crafted and curated over the past twenty years by the hands of an awesome God. 

And..it was something I never truly realized, or even really appreciated until just last week. 

Last week; the week we took a trip of a lifetime. 


There were soooooo many expectations wrapped up into this trip; this thing that had become its own living being. So when we received the call just a mere eight hours in from our kids that they lost power at home, the first cloud appeared in my sky full of rainbows and unicorns. 

Because J is who he is, I was not allowed to panic or make the rash decision to turn around and go home to save the day. Instead, we stayed in close contact with the boys and the electric company, (THANK YOU MODERN TECHNOLOGY), a backup plan was concocted and by nine pm the power returned and all was well.


And I, well, we spent the night sitting on the back porch of our cabin watching the sunset over THIS. 

And all was even better with the world than I could have hoped for.


The next morning that same view looked a bit more like this.  

The clouds with a bit of golden-pink morning sun coming through over the canyon matched the beauty and solemnity of the message we received that J's sweet grandmother had passed. 

In that breathtaking setting, we had the opportunity to sit, reflect, and pray for a bit before we packed up and headed out to Colorado. The word bittersweet had never described anything so perfectly before.

The drive on Monday was pretty uneventful aside from the awe-inspiring views and an hour excursion to Royal Gorge.


AMAZING, by the way.

But we were greeted with yet another surprise before we would make it to our final destination. 

In retrospect, I wonder if we should have taken the awesome sounds of thunder rolling through the mountain tops as more of a warning than just novelty while we ate our lunch outside that afternoon.

Hmmm...

Anyway, have you ever driven into a cloud? 
Not under one, but legitimately into one?


This scene eerily formed before us the further we drove up into the mountains and this backcountry novice had never seen mountain peaks enveloped in clouds at eye level before. 

How incredible!

That was until we continued up the road ahead where suddenly the clouds met the ground in front of us and we started to hear the incessant pinging of hail.

Within a matter of seconds, black gave way to gray and white surrounding us on all sides. 


No, it's NOT snow. It's hail. A whole lot of it.

Terror took over as we continued to climb the mountain with no place to pull over for miles and our car took the beating of a lifetime. Both of us took to praying fervently, begging God to keep us safe and keep our windows intact. 

Both prayers were answered and we were finally able to breathe a sigh of relief when the hail let up. 

Eventually, the rain subsided, clouds parted and that part of Colorado looked as if it had received a fresh summertime snow.

The remaining hour and a half drive was filled with gratitude that we had come through virtually unscathed (our poor car, not so much), excitement that we were nearing our destination, and quite honestly, growing concerns within my own heart as to whether or not we had made a good decision by following through with our trip.

By the time we reached our hotel room, the adrenaline had worn off, exhaustion set in, and my mind was reeling with doubt.

But God. 

I entered into a text exchange with a friend, shared the struggles of the past twenty-four hours and asked her to pray for peace and clarity. 

Just a short while later, we were unpacked and heading out to dinner...

and greeted with this:


You may believe this is coincidence, but for me, it was a clear sign that God was listening and that we were on the right track. The rest of our trip would be peaceful and all would be well.

And it was.

The next morning, coffee with this view was unbeatable and was the perfect setting to spend some time reflecting and asking God a few questions.


And I as I wondered why in the world the start of our trip had been anything but easy, He quickly reminded me of this truth:

This experience was a true reflection of our marriage. 

Jason and I have a wonderful marriage but it has never been easy. We have faced obstacle after obstacle; some due to our own ignorance and/or poor decisions and some due to just life. 
It wasn't until someone recently pointed it out to us that we even gave our history any real consideration.

We've just done life and sometimes its been hard and sometimes its been amazing, and sometimes...its been both at the same exact time!

What immediately came to mind when that revelation dawned upon me is that together God has created us as a team that does not back down or gives up when something out of the ordinary occurs.

We may have to re-route, we may have to slow down a bit, we may have to adjust plans, but we never stop growing, we never stop thinking forward. 

It was our "life" training that prepared us for this trip, not all of the hikes and planning and purchasing of equipment and gear. 

It was overcoming a divorce and learning how to forgive. It was living through the loss of Jason's sister and making the conscious decision to really LIVE our lives despite the pain and fallout that occurred.  It was learning how to trust and rest when were threatened with losing our home and cars just a couple of years ago. 

We have had a lifetime of marriage to prepare for a series of events that could have given us pause or reason to not move ahead with our very first, real trip together. 

And so I sit here and confidently type out these words knowing that each part of our trip, whether it was wonderful or awful, was a gift. 

We've had twenty-one years of training to teach us that everything in life can reveal something wonderful if we let it. It can show us a new truth, it can highlight the good if we choose to look for it, it can change us in a way that makes us better. 

Your response to life's surprises, whether good or bad, is totally up to you. 

We chose to move forward, we chose to push through, and true to form, God was right there with arms open wide reminding us that He was always there comforting us, protecting us, and cheering us on. 

We have spent the past two years praying for a life of adventure and we have received exactly what we asked for.

"And when you ask God for a life of adventure, you quickly realize you have to learn how to navigate the hard and celebrate the awesome all in the same breath sometimes." -kd










Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

This picture is just for attention and hopefully, it has done its job.

(Insert attention grabbing phrase here).

But for real, my heart is that you hear our hearts tonight, and our hearts are that you are pointed to His heart for you.

Sometimes it's all J & I know to do; call on the name of Jesus. 

My heart aches for those who are held captive to their pain, who are so blinded by the sting of hurt and fear they cannot see past the hand in front of them. 

J and I know what that's like and, quite honestly, that is why we are here. 

We want to help, we want to share real hope. 

I know in this world of social media and progressivity there is a lot of talk about being relevant and what that means. In Christendom that is sometimes code for "don't talk about Jesus too much, we don't want to turn people off". 

As if with all of our injenuitive marketing skills and ploys we will draw people into the church without using the "J" word and then we can say it as much as we want when they show up. 

But talking about Jesus and his great love for us only within the four walls of a church building doesn't share hope to hurting who may never know how much He wants to help them. 

If you held the cure to cancer in your hands, would you keep it to yourself?

If you could speak life into this world by just telling others about what Jesus has done for you, wouldn't you just do it?

Sometimes Life has to be shared from the rooftops instead of being contained in a church building, and sometimes rooftops look a whole lot like Instagram and Facebook. 

So, what if I told you that my husband and I have both seriously contemplated suicide at one point in our lives and Jesus saved us from death? 

Would that make a difference?

What if I told you that we have been within days of being homeless and because He placed us on the heart of someone who did not know what we were facing we were able to keep our home? 

Would that get your attention?

How about the time that we had almost no food in our refrigerator and two boys to feed and someone showed up to our home with two weeks worth of groceries? 

How about that, does that matter?

Or how about that time when we were divorced and offenses had been laid that the world tells you not to forgive and we are now halfway into our 17th year of remarriage? 

Oh...I know you've heard that one before.

You see, this is just the highlight reel. These are the over the top, real-life examples of the amazing things we have overcome at the mercy and grace of His hand in our lives. 

There is also a 40 plus year long daily running list of the "small things" he's intervened in. 

No big deal, right? 

I know what you're thinking, "That's great for you. He hasn't done that for me."

We've been there too

So caught up in the pain of the moment, so sure He would not show up on our behalf that we frantically scrambled and tried to fix our situation over and over and over again wrapped up in pain that we were sure would never end.

A funny thing happens when you get caught in that pattern of trying to do it all on your own, you don't leave room for Him to move on your behalf or give yourself space to recognize His presence.

And this Jesus that the world so desperately tries to suppress, the one that wants to save you from yourself, will continuously send people across your path, will relentlessly pursue you even up until death, but will never force himself upon you. 

You're waiting for help, busy accusing Him of ignoring you, and all the while repeating behavior patterns that keep you locked into that place of pain and fear. 

And He's waiting for you to just relax and let him help.

I can recall a conversation I had with a gentleman several years ago. This young man was well educated and well respected in his field of work and while he held almost no respect for many around him, he had a modicum of it for me. During a particularly intense conversation about faith, he asked me the following question:

"How can someone as intelligent and educated as yourself seriously believe in this stuff?"

And at the ripe old age of 22, I looked at him and responded with what I know had to be a God inspired answer:

 "It wouldn't be called faith if I could see or feel it. I would rather live my whole life believing there is hope and be wrong when I die than live hopeless."

This was before we had endured some of our worst years. 

This was before we hit the items listed earlier in this article. 

This was before I really learned what it was like to call on the name of Jesus and watch him work on my behalf. 

If I am being fully transparent, there are still days, though they are less frequent, where J and I forget that our lives are held in the hands of a generous and loving Savior. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves to settle our souls and call on him for help, but when we do it pays off. 

I don't know what you are facing, but I can tell you this: If you are reading this, you are just on the other side of the screen from two people who can tell you story after story of God's goodness and faithfulness. 

Our hearts are that if we remind you enough, you will call on the name of Jesus and experience the love and hope we have been privy to ourselves. 


"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth."
Psalm 145:18