We have a ton of fun together, but it is definitely something we had to learn to do. When you start dating in high school and get married and have babies in college, you learn to live on a budget. Unfortunately, financial struggle was something we dealt with for many, many years so we had only two choices:
1. Wallow in self-pity and never enjoy life
or
2. Get creative with how to entertain ourselves within a very tight budget.
To be honest, we did a bit of both.
Option one only led to a whole bunch of heartache and played its own part in our divorce and option two opened the doors to what we are doing today.
With almost thirty years of relationship experience under our belts (yes, we were babies when we started dating), we want nothing more than to share some of the great things we have learned over the years with others. Our hope is that we can inspire those around us to take on their marriage from a proactive stance and avoid much of the drama we dealt with.
This little project of changing our approach to great dates has become a passion of ours over the years. It met our relationship needs by giving us ways to spend time together outside of the house but also takes away the financial pressure that maintaining a dating life sometimes puts on a marriage.
So, without further ado, we present our tips to great dates on a budget (the Married Twice & Living Life version)...
Tip 1: Keep it simple.
Oh my goodness, how much stress we put on ourselves when we overcomplicate what should never be overcomplicated. Dating in marriage is just about staying connected and taking care of each other. I (Kara) am the world's worst as setting super duper high expectations and then letting my little heart be smashed to pieces when everything doesn't fall into place. That is just no fun for anyone and completely goes against the entire point of going on dates.
Look for something to do that can be a "one stop shop" and will give you ample time to spend together.
In our world, this looks like places that will allow us entry for a minimal amount and let us stay for hours.
Tip 2: Get creative and be adventurous.
Think outside of the box. We often limit ourselves to only going places or doing things we have done before or those things we think we like. Being willing to try something or someplace new gives you a shared first-time experience and you just may discover something new about yourselves as individuals and as a couple.
On one of our Saturday morning walks, we stumbled across a local farmers market and fell in love! We discovered the fun in exploring the various booths and meeting the people who are so passionate about their food and craft. Now we have added this to our list of fun things to do and seek out different markets to visit. Yes, it can be expensive if you go without a plan, so we don't. We discuss what we are in search of, if anything at all, ahead of time and just go to sightsee and people-watch if need be.
Tip 3: Be flexible.
We don't both LOVE all of our dates. But, we love being together and we enjoy doing something that makes our partner happy. I'm not a fan of golf, but I will happily drive the cart and let my guy do something he loves.
And on the other side of the spectrum is my love for museums and botanical gardens. Most local museums have free admission (aside from their special attractions) so as long as you are willing to open your heart and mind to activities that challenge the mind, you are golden for a cheap date! Art museums were not always J's favorite until he realized they were an inexpensive way to make me happy and with time, he grew to love them as well.
Tip 4: Have a backup plan.
Plan A does not always work out, so it's great to keep an idea in your hip pocket to pull out just in case it is necessary. Many of our dates include outdoor activities and sometimes we have to bend to the whims of the weather. That usually means we take it indoors.
As a result, we have taken our penchant for coffee and have turned finding amazing coffee houses into a hobby. They work great as an indoor option and for the price of a cup we can go in and visit for as long as we like. Often they are THE prime place we like to go for our "planning" dates. We find a great spot, spread our laptops, planners, and notebooks out and get to work. Recently our coffee shop game got a shot of inspiration as we watched a couple enjoy themselves with a deck of cards. You can bet we'll be taking a round of Spite and Malice to one of our favorite spots soon!
Here's the deal, one of your best friends as a couple on a budget will be the internet! We google everything, make sure to keep an eye on Groupon for great deals, follow our local classical music radio station that keeps us up to date on area events, follow local city pages on Facebook for free city events and always, always, always keep open hearts and open minds to new ideas.
While we are no longer the same two people we used to be, we still purpose to find ways to date on a budget not because we need to, but because we want to.
We intentionally challenge each other each month to plan at least one date based around these parameters because we have found the beauty in simplicity. There is something magical that happens when we make our dates about us and not about what we are spending to make it happen. It opens a door to creativity and reminds us it is about our time together, not outdoing each other.
Whatever you do, just make sure you make dating a priority. Be proactive and intentional about your marriage no matter what your financial circumstances are. When you purpose to take care of your marriage, God will always show up and bless your efforts, you can count on it.
1. Wallow in self-pity and never enjoy life
or
2. Get creative with how to entertain ourselves within a very tight budget.
To be honest, we did a bit of both.
Option one only led to a whole bunch of heartache and played its own part in our divorce and option two opened the doors to what we are doing today.
With almost thirty years of relationship experience under our belts (yes, we were babies when we started dating), we want nothing more than to share some of the great things we have learned over the years with others. Our hope is that we can inspire those around us to take on their marriage from a proactive stance and avoid much of the drama we dealt with.
This little project of changing our approach to great dates has become a passion of ours over the years. It met our relationship needs by giving us ways to spend time together outside of the house but also takes away the financial pressure that maintaining a dating life sometimes puts on a marriage.
So, without further ado, we present our tips to great dates on a budget (the Married Twice & Living Life version)...
Tip 1: Keep it simple.
Oh my goodness, how much stress we put on ourselves when we overcomplicate what should never be overcomplicated. Dating in marriage is just about staying connected and taking care of each other. I (Kara) am the world's worst as setting super duper high expectations and then letting my little heart be smashed to pieces when everything doesn't fall into place. That is just no fun for anyone and completely goes against the entire point of going on dates.
Look for something to do that can be a "one stop shop" and will give you ample time to spend together.
In our world, this looks like places that will allow us entry for a minimal amount and let us stay for hours.
This is part of the how and why we took up hiking! We got a chance to explore and get a workout in on the cheap. Look for local parks and lakes, fill your backpack with some water and snacks and go explore!
Tip 2: Get creative and be adventurous.
Think outside of the box. We often limit ourselves to only going places or doing things we have done before or those things we think we like. Being willing to try something or someplace new gives you a shared first-time experience and you just may discover something new about yourselves as individuals and as a couple.
On one of our Saturday morning walks, we stumbled across a local farmers market and fell in love! We discovered the fun in exploring the various booths and meeting the people who are so passionate about their food and craft. Now we have added this to our list of fun things to do and seek out different markets to visit. Yes, it can be expensive if you go without a plan, so we don't. We discuss what we are in search of, if anything at all, ahead of time and just go to sightsee and people-watch if need be.
Tip 3: Be flexible.
We don't both LOVE all of our dates. But, we love being together and we enjoy doing something that makes our partner happy. I'm not a fan of golf, but I will happily drive the cart and let my guy do something he loves.
And on the other side of the spectrum is my love for museums and botanical gardens. Most local museums have free admission (aside from their special attractions) so as long as you are willing to open your heart and mind to activities that challenge the mind, you are golden for a cheap date! Art museums were not always J's favorite until he realized they were an inexpensive way to make me happy and with time, he grew to love them as well.
Tip 4: Have a backup plan.
Plan A does not always work out, so it's great to keep an idea in your hip pocket to pull out just in case it is necessary. Many of our dates include outdoor activities and sometimes we have to bend to the whims of the weather. That usually means we take it indoors.
As a result, we have taken our penchant for coffee and have turned finding amazing coffee houses into a hobby. They work great as an indoor option and for the price of a cup we can go in and visit for as long as we like. Often they are THE prime place we like to go for our "planning" dates. We find a great spot, spread our laptops, planners, and notebooks out and get to work. Recently our coffee shop game got a shot of inspiration as we watched a couple enjoy themselves with a deck of cards. You can bet we'll be taking a round of Spite and Malice to one of our favorite spots soon!
Here's the deal, one of your best friends as a couple on a budget will be the internet! We google everything, make sure to keep an eye on Groupon for great deals, follow our local classical music radio station that keeps us up to date on area events, follow local city pages on Facebook for free city events and always, always, always keep open hearts and open minds to new ideas.
While we are no longer the same two people we used to be, we still purpose to find ways to date on a budget not because we need to, but because we want to.
We intentionally challenge each other each month to plan at least one date based around these parameters because we have found the beauty in simplicity. There is something magical that happens when we make our dates about us and not about what we are spending to make it happen. It opens a door to creativity and reminds us it is about our time together, not outdoing each other.
Whatever you do, just make sure you make dating a priority. Be proactive and intentional about your marriage no matter what your financial circumstances are. When you purpose to take care of your marriage, God will always show up and bless your efforts, you can count on it.
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