Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

This picture is just for attention and hopefully, it has done its job.

(Insert attention grabbing phrase here).

But for real, my heart is that you hear our hearts tonight, and our hearts are that you are pointed to His heart for you.

Sometimes it's all J & I know to do; call on the name of Jesus. 

My heart aches for those who are held captive to their pain, who are so blinded by the sting of hurt and fear they cannot see past the hand in front of them. 

J and I know what that's like and, quite honestly, that is why we are here. 

We want to help, we want to share real hope. 

I know in this world of social media and progressivity there is a lot of talk about being relevant and what that means. In Christendom that is sometimes code for "don't talk about Jesus too much, we don't want to turn people off". 

As if with all of our injenuitive marketing skills and ploys we will draw people into the church without using the "J" word and then we can say it as much as we want when they show up. 

But talking about Jesus and his great love for us only within the four walls of a church building doesn't share hope to hurting who may never know how much He wants to help them. 

If you held the cure to cancer in your hands, would you keep it to yourself?

If you could speak life into this world by just telling others about what Jesus has done for you, wouldn't you just do it?

Sometimes Life has to be shared from the rooftops instead of being contained in a church building, and sometimes rooftops look a whole lot like Instagram and Facebook. 

So, what if I told you that my husband and I have both seriously contemplated suicide at one point in our lives and Jesus saved us from death? 

Would that make a difference?

What if I told you that we have been within days of being homeless and because He placed us on the heart of someone who did not know what we were facing we were able to keep our home? 

Would that get your attention?

How about the time that we had almost no food in our refrigerator and two boys to feed and someone showed up to our home with two weeks worth of groceries? 

How about that, does that matter?

Or how about that time when we were divorced and offenses had been laid that the world tells you not to forgive and we are now halfway into our 17th year of remarriage? 

Oh...I know you've heard that one before.

You see, this is just the highlight reel. These are the over the top, real-life examples of the amazing things we have overcome at the mercy and grace of His hand in our lives. 

There is also a 40 plus year long daily running list of the "small things" he's intervened in. 

No big deal, right? 

I know what you're thinking, "That's great for you. He hasn't done that for me."

We've been there too. 

So caught up in the pain of the moment, so sure He would not show up on our behalf that we frantically scrambled and tried to fix our situation over and over and over again wrapped up in pain that we were sure would never end.

A funny thing happens when you get caught in that pattern of trying to do it all on your own, you don't leave room for Him to move on your behalf or give yourself space to recognize His presence.

And this Jesus that the world so desperately tries to suppress, the one that wants to save you from yourself, will continuously send people across your path, will relentlessly pursue you even up until death, but will never force himself upon you. 

You're waiting for help, busy accusing Him of ignoring you, and all the while repeating behavior patterns that keep you locked into that place of pain and fear. 

And He's waiting for you to just relax and let him help.

I can recall a conversation I had with a gentleman several years ago. This young man was well educated and well respected in his field of work and while he held almost no respect for many around him, he had a modicum of it for me. During a particularly intense conversation about faith, he asked me the following question:

"How can someone as intelligent and educated as yourself seriously believe in this stuff?"

And at the ripe old age of 22, I looked at him and responded with what I know had to be a God inspired answer:

 "It wouldn't be called faith if I could see or feel it. I would rather live my whole life believing there is hope and be wrong when I die than live hopeless."

This was before we had endured some of our worst years. 

This was before we hit the items listed earlier in this article. 

This was before I really learned what it was like to call on the name of Jesus and watch him work on my behalf. 

If I am being fully transparent, there are still days, though they are less frequent, where J and I forget that our lives are held in the hands of a generous and loving Savior. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves to settle our souls and call on him for help, but when we do it pays off. 

I don't know what you are facing, but I can tell you this: If you are reading this, you are just on the other side of the screen from two people who can tell you story after story of God's goodness and faithfulness. 

Our hearts are that if we remind you enough, you will call on the name of Jesus and experience the love and hope we have been privy to ourselves. 

"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth."

Psalm 145:18

Errand Days

I call this "Evidence of Thursday Errands". 

It's not actual art, but it's kind of like art to us. 

Our errand days often lay the foundation for inspiration in our marriage and provide opportunities for us to paint this life that we love so much.

Thursdays are in essence, J's Saturdays. Being his first day off after his 4 day work week, they are also our currently designated errand day. 

He schedules haircuts, we get groceries, get the oil changed, set appointments, and anything else we can think of on Thursdays.

And, we do everything in our power to do them all together. 

Why?

Well, the short version of it is in our early days of marriage running errands took the place of actual dates. Not being able to afford nights out on the town taught us how to be creative about spending time together.

And as the years have passed this habit has kept; partly out of necessity and partly because we have noticed how this ritual seems to benefit our relationship.

Over the years, we have learned that I am big picture and he is all about details. Never is this more evident than on errand day. I have the general idea and the creative input needed for making our home function, say for meal planning...

And he makes sure we don't leave the store and leave behind crucial ingredients.

Yes, this happens a lot when I go to the store on my own, even with a list. 

That's the necessity part.

But the benefit part... Well, that's where magic happens.

This week was a perfect example. 

After my guy's visit to the barber, we decided we needed to grab a bite to eat. What was supposed to be a quick meal turned into an hour-long discussion. Jason noticed something was off about my attitude and started probing. We were able to address some creative struggles I have been facing and come up with a plan that will help. 

We try really hard to schedule errands on days that allow for flexibility to be built into our schedule. This takes the desire to rush out of play and allows for quality time such as this to occur.

After our chat, we tackled the rest of the items on our list...together. 

As small as it may seem, having the opportunity to take on a task like groceries side by side gives us the chance to talk, hang out and make decisions with each other's input. 

Over the years we have found that tackling the small things together on a regular basis is great training for overcoming the big things together as well. 

All that time we have put into negotiating over what kind of toilet paper to buy and making sure we have everything we need for the week ahead has actually factored in to how we maneuver more important topics and how we consider each other's input on matters that well, matter. 

So here we are almost 22 years into marriage and still rearranging our schedule every week to make sure we can get groceries together. 

And here we are 22 years later and the best of friends who look forward to our time together, even if it is just spent doing the mundane. 

If you are careful not to disregard it, you may find the mundane can often be the breeding ground for the things that really matter in life. 

It's Not All About Me.

This was a dream realized last week, but it wasn't mine.

My guy has talked, and talked, and talked about going to the Fort Worth Invitational at the Colonial for what seems like FOR-EV-ER, or at least for the last 25 years. 

This past month, when HE was in charge of picking our dates for the month, guess what our "big" date was?

You guessed correctly, walking for hours and hours on end in the sweltering 100 degree Texas heat with our clothes sticking to us from being drenched with sweat.

I'm sorry, I meant enjoying a beautiful day walking the historical grounds of the Colonial Country Club with the love of my life.

I do have to concede that it was a truly beautiful course. 

Despite my indifference to the game, our day began with these smiles.

Part of doing life with this guy is understanding and accepting that he adores all things golf. 

And, after 26 years together, all I can say is that I think the courses are pretty (most of them anyway) and the quiet nature of the game itself soothes the introverted, introspective part of me. 

He can tell me about all of the players and nuances of the game and I can recognize maybe one of his favorites and tell you what the word "par" means. 

That's about it.

We followed this orange shirt around most of the day. 

It's Jordan Speith, right? 

Just kidding. I pay better attention than that. 

He spent his day living out one of his bucket list items.

And I spent much of the day like this.

No, I'm not pouting. That's me with a look of confusion. 

He tries really hard to explain things to me that my mind refuses to process. 

Well, why did I do it? Why did I agree to spend my date day in the heat, kind of addled, and wandering around in silence?

The simple answer: Because I love him. 

J and I haven't always gotten this marriage thing down right, but something we did learn many years ago is that it isn't always about what we as individuals want or like. 

Having an intentional relationship often means seeking ways to spend time together that nourish the soul of the other. 

After 26 years, we have found things to do together that we both love, but there are things we both enjoy that the other just isn't a huge fan of. 

Yes, we could choose to send the other off to enjoy their favorite activity on their own or with their friends (which we sometimes do).

However, we have learned that something special happens when one of us chooses to take an interest in the things that matter to our partner. When we find a way to share our interests, we find the other feels seen, loved, and understood for who they are.

In our world this means I sit on the couch and write as he watches golf, I drive the cart and take pictures as he plays, and I walk around in the heat for hours as he marvels in watching his favorites from twenty feet away.

And he wanders art museums, goes to musicals, and makes a concerted effort to stay awake through my eight millionth viewing of Under the Tuscan Sun. 

Honestly, when we began this practice, it was a little tough. We had already gone through our divorce and remarriage though, and decided that we would do whatever it takes to take care of and speak love to each other.

Fortunately, our experience taught us the necessity of sacrificing our own desires for the better of our spouse and trusting that if we lean on God, and love and respect our spouse the way we want to be loved and respected, then it will all work out in the wash. 

If I am consistently putting his needs first and he is consistently putting mine first, we always win. 

Yes, this is a difficult concept to live out. 

Yes, it requires vulnerability and faith.

Yes, it works. 

AND, one of the benefits is that we find over time a middle ground is uncovered and we discover there are aspects of the interests of the other that meet our own needs.

No, not a huge fan of the game of golf. Yes, I adore the outdoors, the quiet, and the joy it gives my husband. 

This approach has served us well:

• We learn more about each other by being intentional in sharing in each other's interests. 

• Our relationship is strengthened because there is just something that fills your soul when you understand your partner is doing something just because they love you and want to spend time with you. 

• And the biggest bonus, we find that with each passing day, we enjoy each other's company more and more. There are no worries or concerns here about what it will be like when our kids are grown and gone. Instead, we are always dreaming of all of the things we want to do as we grow old together. 

Because we have spent the last couple of decades practicing the art of serving each other, I was able to have the same smile on my face at the end of our golf day together as I did when we started.

He was smiling because he lived out a dream and got to share it with his favorite person.

I was smiling because I had a front row seat to his enthusiasm and knew some good Mexican food was on the horizon.

(He thanked me repeatedly for joining him that day and asked me to choose what I wanted for dinner because I was such a trooper. That's what love does.)

So, ask me again how I can survive a full day of something is that is just not my jam...

It's not all about me and I'm really okay with that.